"ya ya! Whatever!" (Bang!)
I closed my room`s door with full of anger.. Was wondering what`s wrong I did today or last few days~ Sincerely, today was a fully bored day and I was a silly human being sitting inside my room (Accurately was me and my mom`s room).. Sadly, me and my beloved`s relationship not really well for few days.. Perhaps, some unpleasant reward from police makes him like that.. Cool down myself, controlling myself so that no quarrel occur... Too much of incidents happened this few days, I was scared! Most of my ex planning to patch back with me.. Surprisingly, these make me feel useless and worthless inside me... My bestie was busying with their studies.. (I can understand girls!) Told them everything, their comments try to change my mind so that I don`t care about them..
My bad thinking began when my relationship going worse to worst... Still, I`m using those memories in my mind to calm my feeling down... For longer time, my thinking changed again~ Stop myself to think those unimportant stuffs, out of sudden, I`m blanked.. Nothing inside my brain, the only was my result slip... Turning turning turning and turning................. Damn tension, wondering that white paper with those printed grades... Arghhh! Hopefully A1 only.. Imagining my future, felt excited with my college or university life~ Dreaming I become an intelligent student, work hard for my distinction results in future.. That`s my aim! To be or not to be, my driving courses coming soon~ Kinda happy and worried... There`s someone very supportive to me always provide me confidences~ Should I call him as my " Confidence Machine" ? Wakakakaka.. I`m sure he will be " sweat " now after read my post...
Missing him badly.. Wondering who will be the one that I missed.. Sometimes I was blaming myself didn`t really appreciate things around me~ Can`t give an answer to myself, I`m realise that I can`t mix up with those crazy family members.. These became my very first question to myself~ Non-stop searching for answers, perhaps I don`t have those attitude? Or maybe not ? I don`t know..... And these will become a mystery inside my heart thus no answer and solutions for it..
Watching Taiwanese drama, sometimes there`s some message from those dramas~ All about love, about care, about concern~ Over acting will provide wrong messages, yet, I get some message that I regret in only one Taiwanese drama, " miss no good "... I believe most of teenager watched this movie from Will Pan and Rannie Yong~ This drama started with a girl who always bring lots of smiles to everyone, she don`t care public`s comment on her and she loved everything belong hers names as, Small Flower.. Accidentally, she met up with a fashion designer, Tang Men, a cool, mature, handsome, honest guy~ Surely wondering how was he and she falling in love with each other.. Summarizing, finally Tang Men planning to go German to continue his career at the same time he wants to marry with small flower too... Unfortunately, his bestie, Si Le had admitted to hospital because of an accident~
He knows his beloved ( small flower) was kind and like his bestie last time.. What he did was ended his and her relationship cruelly instead he wants her to forget about him at all~ That`s impossible for her.. By the time his bestie awaken, he told Small Flower to express her feeling, her love toward Tang Men~ With full of sadness, he called her to go now while Tang Men was in the airport... Running Running Running and Running... She saw him and told him.... She loves him and these will be forever her choice~ I was surprised my tears dropping... Felt kinda sorry and regret that I didn`t tell him all my feeling... I was terrible and useless, I don`t have the confidence as like Small Flower to tell him my feeling.. Just let him leave here without any feelings... I`m really a kid, most of the time felt " If there`s doraemon in this world was great and awesome! " Seriously, am I silly? And things I really wanted to ask him was " Is it deserve to wait me like that? Don`t you think that`s worthless?! "
I KNOW YOU WILL WAIT FOR ME, BUT DOESN`T MEAN I WILL ACCEPT YOU !!
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